Neopets was a sleepover thing

The plastic case was soooo thick.

The clip, equally as thick

You couldn’t have something that might fall off your waist.

I could only call the beeper number

If it was a REAL emergency.

Sitting in the backseat of the car,

Listening to my red walkman.

We were on a bumpy road so I had to 

Make sure to hold the player flat on my lap.

“Stabilizer” technology my ass.

It still skipped when the CD bumped around.

I listened to the entire T.I. album

In music files that ended in “.mp3”.

Was doing laundry singing

“Match your panties with your bra,

Get ya shit togetha!”

I originally thought of naming my AIM profile:

369damnimfine

But when I was too embarrassed to tell

Teddy and Nati, beloved, sage, brother and cousin,

They suggested I go with something else:

qtlucie22

I was SO spoiled, got a cell phone

In sixth grade with some HEFT to it.

Could’ve knocked someone out,

Motorola is damn near indestructible.

The credenza used to house the

House Computer,

Just 1 per family.

Me, Nati, and Ceci would play Icy Tower

For HOURS huddled around the screen.

Switch out when we each inevitably lost,

Rather quickly. Teddy would wreck our high

Scores in but a moment’s time.

Computer Class is when you got to

HAVE FUN, figure out

How to unflip your screen with the fancy

Keyboard shortcuts. In French class, 

Got a list of the ALT+02XX

To get the right accents. Make sure to

Perform proper pronunciation on the page.

I remember these things, from the nineties

The early 2000s. When we were all just trying

To communicate… Music, calls, language

Figure out the game and how to keep up.

Nowadays, my phone hasn’t been updated in 2 years

My WiFi inevitably just D R O P S

The soundbar will probably never connect to the TV.